Forget Facebook, Twitter and all the other so called social networking venues. The only real place to socially network is down the pub! In fact the traditional English pub is the original social networking site and it’s real.
You don’t need the web or any high tech browser enabled gizmo. You just need to put your shoes on, leave the house and make your way down to the pub. Once in there you’ll see other human beings. You can talk to them in plain English. If they say something amusing you can actually laugh out loud, it’s easy and you don’t have to learn any new vocabulary. If they say something hilarious you can actually roll on the floor and laugh your ass off if you want. In fact, in a real social networking experience, if the people you interact with say something that really amuses you you can actually spurt beer out of your nose. I bet there’s no emoticon for that!
Feeling isolated sat in front of that damned computer? I’m not surprised. Get down the pub and meet some real people. After a few visits they’ll start to remember you. The bar staff will start remembering your name and what you drink. You’ll strike up real friendships and people will start to take an interest in what happened in your life today. You won’t have to send out constant tweets of purile progress reports. You’ll be able to roll the whole day’s drossness into a quick summary and then get on and discuss much more important stuff.
Eventually you’ll get talking to old Fred whose mate Bill might just have a job for you as he’s looking for someone to help him out for a few hours a week. There’s no better linked in network than the pub! Just don’t go bragging to everyone that you’re an expert IT geek though cos they’ll all start asking you to fix some virus their beloved pc has caught.
In summary the only real benefit from any of those novel means of modern communication should be to arrange to meet someone in the pub. Then turn the thing off and have a wash and head off into the real world. Get yourself down to the pub and experience some real social networking at the genuine original social networking site 
